Day 46 – Love with Abandon

Love with abandon. You have heard this adage before. You have wished for it.  You may have decided you will never know what this means. But you are experiencing it right now, every day, every hour, every minute.

You are loving Earth with abandon.

You think she will support you. You think she will always be by your side. You think she will care for you.

You have forgotten how your actions impact her. You have forgotten to nourish her. You have forgotten her.

When you wash your hair in the morning do you think about where the soap goes? Do you think she will drink it like an elixir of love?

When you go for your morning coffee do you bring your own mug? Or do you think she will take your trash and make diamonds from it?

When you look at her do you only see her beauty or do you see the wounds that you thoughtlessly imprinted on her? Erroneously thinking your love is enough to cure her.

Do you see those marks? They are yours. Only you don’t want to take responsibility for them. You say they are her problem. You say they were there before you met her. You say “I love you” as if it is a magic spell to break all curses.

It isn’t.

Her baggage is your baggage. That is what love means. True love needs care, attention, and respect. How did you forget?

Now is not the time to love with abandon, now is the time to love consciously.

Only then will you know love.


Day 3 – Monofilament

A predawn walk along the beach is a great way to start the day.

I always like to look for treasures washed ashore at the high tide line. Typically, I’m looking for critters like sand dollars (which I found a few weeks ago on a beach walk with my niece at Ocean beach in San Francisco ).

What caught my eye along the beach at Kailua bay wasn’t biological, like coconut shells or seaweed. It was marine debris.


Yes, it is a fact that we humans produce a lot of garbage and some of it ends up in our environment. 

Yes, it is overwhelming to see the big pieces and all of the little pieces. 

I knew I couldn’t pick up all of the debris, but I had to do something.


I decided to pick up monofilament (the ball of green-blue plastic thread in the picture).

Read a bit about it on Wikipedia

I’m not going to solve the ocean trash problem alone, but I can help. Every bit counts.

Oh, I did find a critter – pufferfish (been dead for a while).

Use your finger!

I was reminded about one of my pet peeves the other day while walking down the alley behind my house. As I approached the bottom of the hill, there was this curious piece of trash laying near a storm drain. It was bright baby blue, torpedo shaped, with a curious perforation at the tip, then it struck me, it was a tampon applicator. I felt the annoyance that began 20 plus years ago begin to resurface. I recalled a news story about sewage outfall that happened in Los Angeles or was it Long Island and the beaches were covered with syringes and tampon applicators. I remember hearing the disgust in people’s voices when they spoke about it, but here we are 20 years later and women are still using them. Women are not just using these little pieces of plastic, they are flushing them down the toilet, for them to end up in our waterways or on our beaches and leaving them on hiking trails in the woods.

I was awestruck when I did a google search on the term “plastic tampon applicator environment” and the results brought back not only information about how they are part of the plastic waste found in our ocean, but  discussion threads with questions/discussions asking if plastic tampon applicators could be flushed or recycled, whether plastic was better than cardboard. A little more searching and I found the blog post from The Chic Ecologist that gives a scientific essay of information, quoting the life cycle of a tampon based on an analysis by some smart folks in Stockholm, that basically says the worst part of a tampon applicator is that it is PLASTIC.  Do we really have to have PhDs to figure this out folks?

Plastics in our environment is a very serious thing, of course climate change is even more serious, but the great thing about this problem is that WE humans can do something about it. We can choose not to buy tampons with plastic applicators, one seemingly small step for the environment, but think about the cumulative effects if you and your friends do it, then their friends and so on and so on. How powerful will it be when by your one simple action may force playtex or kotex to never make tampons with plastic applicators again?

What about your health?

I just found a post about moldy tampons found in, you guessed it a plastic applicator. There is little evidence that says tampons are unhealthy, they are safe to use unless you leave one in for longer than the prescribed time (don’t leave it in for a day okay) and truthfully there are more important questions for your health you should be asking, like should I begin an exercise routine (the answer is yes).

But you don’t want to touch yourself or get blood over your hands?

Get over it. You are a beautiful female human, embrace that, love that and live with that. A woman’s menstrual cycle is a miraculously beautiful thing that should be celebrated not cursed. It leads to making those cute little baby humans, who are our future. They will also be the ones who will be picking up and figuring out how to deal with our plastic trash for generations to come.

I have used tampons without an applicator for well over 20 years. I started in high school, it was the 80s and they were just coming out. I hated applicators, they would poke, slip and I usually ended up using my finger to get the ill formed piece of cotton up my vagina. I knew back then that plastic was bad for the environment so plastic applicators were never an option for me. It was a revolution when the small little tampons that had a place for my fingertip came out. My finger expertly guided this little plug into place, no poking, no slipping and there it stayed until I returned to the bathroom.  I felt emancipated as a woman, in control of how my  tampon was placed. You too can be emancipated from applicators, cardboard or plastic, just use your finger.